


Reunion

by Batakh



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Crack, M/M, Multi, Nothing but crack, Pure Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 07:50:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1974831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batakh/pseuds/Batakh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Q," Kirk asked him, "Why have you brought the Enterprise E here?"</p><p>"Why? A reunion of course!" Q said, delighted.</p><p>"Reunion? With whom?"</p><p>"With me!" Q announced giddily, "It's my 15 billion years old birthday!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reunion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rosslyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosslyn/gifts).



> In the comic prequel to STXI, Commander Data was going to assist Ambassador Spock in his mission to Romulus, but he arrived too late to watch both Nero and Spock go into the black hole. Hence the reference in this fic.

 

> First Officer's log: Stardate 5560.47, the Enterprise has just departed from Deep Space 9 after attending the Bajorian's day of independence from the Cardassians.
> 
> The captain and majority of the command officers have been incapacitated by excessive intake of tri-athenoal-mono-carbonate, or popular known as Bajorian whiskey. Despite the Captain's prior protest, Starfleet command was adamant that the amount of alcoholic consumption by the Enterprise crew while attending the Bajorian state banquet had a direct correlation to the convincing of the Bajorians to stay in the Federation.
> 
> However, I believe engineer Barkely's comparison of Bajorian's wrinkled nose feature to a Klingon pig, during his intoxication, had an adverse effect on the objective of the mission.
> 
> As the celebration ended, the captain attempted to take command of the Enterprise and ordered the helmsman to leave orbit with the theoretically unattainable warp factor 10. I have temporarily relieved the captain of duty citing regulation 44C, subsection 2A, or as what Lt Commander La Forge described it, "Don't drink and warp".

 

"Commander, we are entering the Badlands. Communication and sensor blackout in 10 minutes." The helmsman announced.

 

Commander Data nodded his acknowledgement. "Jump out of warp, raise shields to 10 percent, three quarters impulse, hold course fully ahead."

 

"Aye, commander."

 

The Badlands was a naturally occurring high radiation space near the Bajorian border. Many civilian ships have been lost in this sector in the past, but the flagship of Starfleet only needed minimal shield to get across the 'bad weather'.

 

"WARNING, WARNING." The Enterprise computer suddenly broadcasted, "Proximity alert, collision imminent."

 

"Report." Commander Data confidently and calmly announced in a manner indiscernable from if he was asking for the maintenance logs.

 

"Sir, it's a starship!" The navigation ensign shouted back. "We are going to collide with another starship."

 

"Hard starboard." The helmsman announced his actions as he forcibly turned the massive Enterprise away from its course, pre-emptive of orders.

 

"Negative." Data interrupted, "Heading full ahead, warp 1 for 2 seconds. Shields maximum."

 

"But, the Badlands, warp could.." 

 

"Ensign, that was not a suggestion."

 

"Aye commander."

 

As the Enterprise jumped in and out of warp, massive explosions were triggered. However, both the Enterprise and the unknown starship's shields appeared to have absorbed most of the damage.

 

"Sir, all sections reporting minimal damage. Shields down to 20 percent. Repairs crews have been dispatched."

 

Data gave an affirmative nod for the bridge crew to carry on.

 

"Comms, hail the unidentified starship. Tactical, feed all the sensor data of the unidentified starship to the captain's chair."

 

"But, sir, sensor log has nothing but noise. The interference from the Badlands is too strong."

 

"I will attempt to analysis the data using my positronic matrix and improve the signal to noise ratio by adjusting the stochastic resonant pattern."

 

"Er.. Ok.., Aye sir."

 

At that moment, Captain Picard entered the bridge while still trying to balance himself on both feet. Data stood up to greet him.

 

"Captain, you are still exhibiting symptoms of post-alcoholic disorientation."

 

"Mr Data, I might still not have a full concentration, but I am not going to just lie in my quarters as you warp my ship across the Badlands. Report, what happened?"

 

"A ship sir, we almost collided with it." The helmsman responded.

 

"What ship? Bajorian?"

 

"We don't know sir, radiation from the Badlands are still interfering with the sensors. We are blinded to anything outside 500 metres." Reported the tactical officer.

 

"Actually, Captain," Commander Data spoke, "I have been attempting to analyse the sensor logs. Although I am only able to decipher 12 percent of the sensor readings, it is already suffice to suggest that the ship in proximity is of an old Starfleet design, either constitution class or a constitution retrofit."

 

Picard's eyebrow rose. "Constitution class? I thought the last of those ships were decommissioned decades ago."

 

"Affirmative, the last constitution retrofit class starship reported in service was the USS Discovery, approximately 59 years ago."

 

"Approximately? Mr Data, did I just hear an imprecise answer from you?" An amused Picard appeared almost momentarily  sober.

 

"Sir. I am able to provide the time period since USS Discovery's exact moment of decommission precise to milliseconds, are you interested to access this information?"

 

"No, Mr Data. Though I would be interested if we can have a chat with them."

 

"Sirs, I am still not able to establish a communication link. The background radiation is too high." The ensign at the comm piped in.

 

"Captain, through my analysis of the sensor logs, I am able to triangulate the spatial coordinates of the constitution class starship. If they have not left the vicinity, I believe I can program the Enterprise's navigation to approach the constitution class starship to within visual and communication range."

 

"Very well Mr Data," Picard made a loopy gesture with his finger, "Make it so."

 

As they moved through the storm, the outline of another starship started to appear. It seems they were worse hit than the Enterprise from the emergency warp jump. Although still intact, damage can be seen across several sections of the ship.

 

"This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Enterpise Starship Federation," Picard began. Pausing, he shaked his head a little. "I mean Federation Enterprise. Ergh. Never mind! Who are you? Do you need assistance?"

 

After a brief silence followed with static noise, an audio transmission came through.

 

"This is Captain James T Kirk of the Federation Starship Enterprise NCC 1701. Did you say your ship was the Enterprise? What is your registry number?"

 

On board Picard's bridge...

 

"Kirk? Not again. The guy loves time travel, doesn't he."

 

"Captain, I am picking up two Vulcan life signs on board the Enterprise."

 

"Two? Mr Data? I thought Spock was the only Vulcan in the Starfleet during Kirk's time."

 

"Affirmative, Mr Spock was the first and only Vulcan to wear the Starfleet uniform until the commission of the Enterprise A."

 

"We should ask them to beam aboard and explain that they are in the future."

 

"The use if transporter in the Badlands is high unadvisable, also, bringing them on board the Enterprise E will further result in temporal contamination." Data noted evenly.

 

Picard rubbed his eyebrows. "Very well then, prepare a shuttle craft, I am going over."

 

"Captain, I must cite regulation regarding the captain of starship going on away missions," Data continued in the same unaffected tone.

 

"Mr Data," Picard said exasperatedly, "I doubt Kirk will start shooting me. There is no danger involved in this away mission." 

 

"I disagree sir," Data replied. "Their ship is highly volatile following the explosions. I believe my engineering abilities will be of use. And.. sir, not to mention, you are still partially intoxicated."

 

With a grin, Picard conceded and sluggishly sat down in the captain's chair. "Fine, I will have the bridge."

 

Data did not move. "Captain, I don't think you are fit to command the bridge either."

 

Slowly turning his head towards Data with a glare, "Mr Data, don't push it."

 

"But sir, I am not exerting a mechanical forcing towards any objects."

 

"Just... go."

 

\----------

 

As the Enterprise E's shuttle craft docked on Enterprise, the 24the century engineering crew immediately started assisting their 23rd century colleagues to stabilise the ship.

 

"Captain Kirk, I am Commander Data, first officer of the Enterprise E."

 

"What are you? A robot?" Kirk questioned, with a slight tone of ridicule.

 

"Captain," First Officer Spock spoke, "I believe Commander Data is an android." With a slight pause, Spock murmured to himself with a slight rising eyebrow, "Interesting."

 

"Yes, he is an android, one of a kind, sentient and moreover, one of the best Starfleet officers I know."

 

Data turned towards the sound of the voice. "Ambassador Spock. I did not expect your presence on this ship. We thought you were killed by the black hole."

 

"Mr Data, how do you know I am who you think I am? With time travel, it could be any form of myself coming from other timelines."

 

"Ambassador, your phase shift is in agreement with the deviation I measured since our last encounter with Nero. Therefore, I ascertain that you are the Spock of this timeline."

 

"Hmm.. How interesting." Both Spocks murmured.

 

Data continued unperturbed. "Then, am I right to assume Nero and you travelled to an alternative timeline in the past, where you encountered Kirk, your younger self and the original Enterprise? And the Enterprise is here to escort you back to your timeline?"

 

"Your first assumption is correct, however, we were not planning to travel to the future. In fact, we do not know what exactly happened. Our sensors blacked out by the background radiation as soon as we entered this unchartered territory and then we almost collided with you."

 

"Did you not encounter a temporal rift?"

 

"No." Kirk firmly announced, a little irked at being left out of the conversation for so long.

 

"Actually, Mr Data, we don't know what we encountered," Spock replied.

 

"Then I am not able to extrapolate what yielded your current situation," Data said, with appropriate amount of confusion.

 

"Hey, who says we have travelled into the future? Maybe you guys have travelled into the past." Kirk suggested.

 

Data looked at Kirk with a hint of amusement. "That is not impossible, but highly unlikely. The Enterprise E is equipped with short range sensors that can function in the Badlands. We would have detected a temporal rift if we were passing through it, even if we could not alter course in time to avoid it."

 

At that point, Data was being hailed by his own ship.

 

"Data," Picard told him, "We are in the past."

 

Data lifted his eyebrows accordingly. "How do you know sir? Has the long range sensors come back online?"

 

"We don't need the sensors," Picard said, a look of vague constipation on his face. "We have just been informed of our unexpected detour by an old acquaintance, Q."

 

\----------

 

On board Enterprise, both sets of captains and fist officers as well as Ambassador Spock congregated to discuss their current situation. Picard tried to explain this entity known as Q.

 

"Q is the most childish, unpredictable, annoying, yet omnipotent creature we have ever encountered."

 

At this moment, a bright light appeared and Q dressed in Starfleet uniform of an admiral appeared.

 

"Jean-Luc, is this any way to speak about your superior officer?" Q announced obnoxiously.

 

Picard did not so much as look at him. "You are no more superior to a Menotian slug."

 

Q placed a hand over his chest. "Mon capitán, you wound me."

 

"Q," Kirk asked him, "Why have you brought the Enterprise E here?"

 

"Why? A reunion of course!" Q said, delighted.

 

"Reunion? With whom?"

 

"With me!" Q announced giddily, "It's my 15 billion years old birthday!"

 

Closing his eyes momentarily, Captain Picard looked like he was seriously resisting the urge to face palm.

 

"Well, happy birthday Q, now please send us back."

 

"But we haven't cut the cake yet!" Q said, and smirked. "Not even all the guests have arrived!"

 

As he stopped speaking an older Kirk was teleported right in front of them. With an axe in hand, as he was in the middle of chopping wood.

 

Spock Prime needed no phase shifts to aid him, he knew that is Kirk, _his_ Kirk. Months of circling over the Nexus with a confined shuttle craft, he couldn't enter to rejoin his old friend. Yet, here he is, standing right in front of him.

 

Captain Picard recognizes the older Kirk too, he has met him once in the Nexus, a place that transcends space and time itself.

 

"Spock?"

 

Spock's eyes were strangely bright. "My dear friend, it is I."

 

The older Kirk grinned at him for a long, silent moment, then finally shifted his gaze. "Is this the Enterprise? Oh my, are these.. us?"

 

"Yes, Jim, it appears that you have been transported into the past of an alternative timeline by Mr Q."

 

"Look at that Jean-Luc!" Q piped in, making everyone jump except the Vulcans, "You never addressed me as mister!" 

 

Picard exhaled readily. "Well, old habits die hard."

 

"Q," young Kirk asked cautiously, "We don't even know you. Why did you bring us to this reunion of yours?"

 

"Oh Jim, Jim, how cute. Such a linear understanding of time. Of course you don't know me, _yet_. But in your future, we will be close friends, even closer than Jean-Luc and I."

 

"He is your friend?" Young Kirk asked Picard.

 

"Friend is a bit of an exaggeration." Picard sympathetically looked at the young Kirk as he thought of the future adventures with Q that awaited him.

 

"And Data, Spock, even you Kirk, young and old, are all the closest thing I can call as family. So I want all of you to be present during my birthday."

 

"Fine." Picard conceded, knowing there is no other way to get away from this uninvited birthday boy to his uninvited party. "Let's get it over with and you can send us back to wherever."

 

"That is the attitude!" Q exclaimed, "Let's start our millennium long celebration!"

 

"Millennium?" Picard interrupted, "Are you insane? Even if we wanted to, we don't live that long, maybe Mr Data excluded."

 

"Oh Jean-Luc, I am god, remember? I can let whoever I want to live as long as I want. That is one of the perks of being my friend."

 

"You are a lot of things, god, you are not. You are not even a man. A man will have compassion and empathy. He wouldn't risk the life of innocents for his own entertainment."

 

Like a child who has just been scolded, Q shouted, "Compassion? Empathy? How about I leave old Kirk here with old Spock so that they can live happily ever after? Compassion and empathy enough for you?"

 

With this, Q poofed out leaving the older Kirk with the rest of them.

 

Confused and more than a little dazed, the older Kirk turned to Ambassador Spock for an explanation.

 

"Jim, it is ok, I will explain to you what happened." Spock said gently. Pausing, he looked into Kirk's eyes. "We have a lifetime for me to explain to you what happened."

 

Glancing away awkwardly, Picard suddenly felt rather guilty. "Actually, maybe we were being a bit too tough on Q. Yes, his actions endangered many of our crew, but maybe he never intended for any of us to get hurt, maybe he really just wanted a celebration."

 

"Enterprise E," Data hailed his own ship, "Replicate and teleport a 3 level birthday cake to our location."

 

"Make that 10 level." Picard added.

 

As the cake arrived, Picard led them, "Let's sing Q a birthday song..."

 

Poof, and Q appeared again with a marching band singing a funky version of the birthday song.

 

"Mon capitán! I knew you loved me!"

 

Picard grinned through gritted teeth. "I wouldn't go that far."

 

Q paid him no attention as he blew forcefully into a trumpet. "Let's celebrate!"

 

"Just the song and the cake, no more than an hour, and then you take us back to our timeline." Picard said condescendingly.

 

"Half day," Begged Q.

 

"Deal." Picard quickly seized the cessation and clasped him on the shoulder.

 

"Mr Q," Ambassador Spock asked, cautious and intent, "Are you still going to leave Jim -- my Jim -- here with me?"

 

Poofing a whip into Spock prime's hand, Q winked at him. "You can have him as long as you want."

 

 

\---- The End ----


End file.
